LAW
LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.
LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.
LAW 3: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.
LAW 4: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to totally humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.
LAW 5: Topping a 3-iron is most painful torture known to man.
LAW 6: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
LAW 7: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, professional wrestler, or an IRS agent.
LAW 8: A severe slice is a thing of awe-some beauty.
LAW 9: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.
LAW 10: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
LAW 11: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of the universe.
LAW 12: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until sunset.